On the road again...

Here we are at the end and the beginning at the same time. The benefit of trimesters is that we get to quickly begin again. Learn from the last trimester, and apply it to the new. Tardies and most people's points start over. Grades all start over fresh. New electives. New opportunities. Never miss those few chances that we get in life to start over fresh. This is one of them. A perfect time to check the fruit. What will you do differently this trimester? What did you learn from the last one? Any comments? Eagle bonus sticker for any student that comments before the end of the year. :) Good luck, and God bless your new fruit.

Relationships and Reality

Romeo and Juliet is a classic story repeated through the ages in various ways. The idea of "forbidden love" is seen in countless movies and books. There are many reasons for the repetition of this idea, but one is because anything forbidden can become that much more desirable. When we are told "No" about anything, it suddenly becomes something that we want even more. In junior high and in life for that matter, boys and girls start to like each other. Rather than forbidding any sort of relationship, we like to encourage friendships. Exclusive relationships can become very overwhelming emotionally for a young person already dealing with hormones, social change, and insecurities. It is exciting and exhilarating, but usually not safe. They may think it feels like "flying" but they don't realize at this point in their life, it is more like falling, and the splat at the end is probably going to hurt.

So, what does the Bible say? Here are a few ideas, keep Christ first. When your "love" for someone overwhelms your love for Jesus, you have a problem. How do you know when that happens? Look at the motives for your choices. Are you willing to deny yourself for Christ, obey your parents, or are you losing control? You have to talk or text him/her. You have to see him/her. You have to...fill in the blank.

The Bible also talks about treating others with the love and respect of family. Don't be exclusive or selfishly motivated. Like a sister or brother, want the best for them, not you. Don't be alone with one person; be part of the body of Christ as a group. Don't be physical in any way at this point it only compounds the feelings that are already hard to manage.

The reality is guys and girls will like each other. That is a good thing. Be realistic. But, really seek to keep your heart for the Lord. Life is hard enough without adding more drama from the emotions and social splintering of boy/girl relationships.

Heat wave? Slip and Slide!

The summer finally showed up...a month late. So, we had a little "summer fun" courtesy of our junior high pastor. What feels like summer more than a slip and slide? Students put on their PE uniform and slid across the grassy field on the wet, plastic sheet. I grabbed the camera and took a few shots.

New Look

If you have visited our blog in the last few years, you will notice a new look now. It is a bit more modern, edgy, and messy. Though I reflect often on the Proverb about not removing the ancient landmarks; I also think it is great to change things up every once in a while. I also like the "messy, under construction" look because it reminds me of junior high. Unfinished products walking around being built before your very eyes! Amazing, when you think about it.

Of course, we are all "under construction" one way or another, junior highers are just not as good at hiding it. Sometimes you see houses under construction with a tarp or other covering to hide the mess that is really going on. Junior highers are a house without a tarp. It is out there for everyone to see- the attitude, the absent-mindedness, the strange priorities, the stranger make-up jobs, and the interesting hair styles. Just remember, God is still working. One of my prayers is that we will be part of the building project together this year.

Realistic Expectations

Have you ever wondered if your expectations are appropriate for your child? Do you push them too hard or not enough? Are you too strict or too lenient? What are they really capable of? Those are tough questions without easy answers. Let me share a couple of ideas. First, we are all sinners. Saved or not, we still sin. We still have a sin nature. There is no Biblical basis for saying, "My child would never....." fill in the blank. We set them up for failure when we fail to recognize their own frame. The Bible tells us that God knows our frame. Jesus knew what was in man. There are no false perceptions from the Almighty. We are all sinners. No one is righteous, no not one. No matter how well trained they are. People fail, always. Secondly, what are God's expectations? He calls us to holiness. He calls us to be perfect, to love our enemies, and pray for those that hurt us. We are told to be like Jesus. Those are some pretty high expectations.

Here is the rub, the fact of sin and the call to holiness. How are those reconciled? At the cross. The cross is the place that our sin is taken care of and our future is secured. We are redeemed from sin and death and adopted into the family of God. So, in regards to our expectations, have them work hard. Encourage their excellence. Draw them to the heights. But, never forget they sometimes will miss the mark, be below average, and crumble under pressure. And that is ok. That is part of being human. We try, we fail, we are forgiven, we get back up and try again. The cross gives us that freedom. Give that freedom to your child too. Whatever they do, we should expect their best effort, but failure is part of the process. Don't be shocked. Help them get back up, and go at it again.

Trees, Wind, and Junior High

I don't know if you saw the article in the paper last week regarding the wind we were having and trees.  It struck a cord with me, and prompted some thoughts.  The article was in some sort of gardening section that I typically don't read, but there was some sort of a snappy title that caught my attention, I don't know what it was now...I guess it wasn't that snappy!  Anyway, the lady was sharing that it is fine to tie up little trees to poles and stakes when they are young because it helps them to grow.  But, once they get bigger they should be untied and allowed to "blow in the wind."  This will help them to increase flexibility and grow strong roots.  If they are tied to tightly to the stakes and poles, when they reach maturity they will be weak and brittle.  Any little wind will snap or uproot them.  Mmmmh.  Immediately, my mind went to junior high-that is usually where my mind goes.  How similar to these young people we have here at school and you have in your home.  Now is the time to let them get blown around a bit by life and its circumstances.  Now is the time for them to learn from mistakes and figure out how to deal with issues and pressures they will no doubt continue to encounter as adults.  Tied too tightly to you and they will never fully develop.  When real life happens, maybe high school, maybe college, maybe marriage they snap or are uprooted.  Let them blow a bit.  Let God speak to them.  Keep them secure, watch over them, but let them feel talk and work through solutions and situations.  Guide them without telling them.  Pray with them without preaching at them.  They will be trees of righteousness, strong and stable.  That is really what we want for each one.

Expectations

As I have mentioned before, now is the time to set up some expectations for this year.  Verbalize and possibly even write out your expectations as your student moves into the new frontier of "junior high school."  Here are a few ideas about what to talk about and what we typically recommend at school:

Spending the night at a friend's house-not recommended on a school night 

Parties with boys and girls-parental supervision is a must

Grades-a minimum of 2.0, most students that do their homework and spend time studying will earn A-B work

Homework/Study time-set apart a time and place that is w/o distraction and consistent about an hour or hour and half is typical unless you procrastinate :)

Sports Teams-try out for those sports that you are interested in and see what happens

Service Hours-go on a trip with the jh ministry team, don't wait until the last minute

Tardies to class-tardies are bad! ;-)

Boy/Girl relationships-not necessary, don't encourage, put Jesus first in all your friendships, don't hang all over, front hug, hold hands etc.  hormones take them places their heads can't handle, it is not uncommon for them to "like each other" so talk about what is ok and not ok. forbidding them to like someone can bring out "Romeo and Juliet" flashbacks, "break ups" are usually pretty emotional and very hard socially.

Losing items-make them foot the bill to replace things and it will become more important

Number of Disc. Points-under 10 points in a semester is fine, under 5 points gets free dress during finals!

Consequences- take responsibility for your failures and mistakes, but it is what you do after that counts, make changes and never give up.  

Sit down and take some time to talk about these and other topics and find out what you think and what your student thinks.  You may be surprised with what happens.  

Set some positive goals for the year too.  I often ask the students to set goals and share them with me.  If you know where you are going your are more likely to get there!

Defibrillators in the News

I don't know if you saw the article in the Register this morning about defibrillators.  The article talked about an 11 year old boy that was saved using a defibrillator at a community gymnasium.  We trained our staff last year in the use of a defibrillator and have three on campus.  It is not something we talk about very often to the parents, but it is something we talk about as a school.  We are always concerned with the safety of our students and staff, and we are always looking ways to improve what we do.  Just thought you would like to know.

Parents: Are actions really louder than words?

Sometimes we think that our kids know we love them because we feed them, clothe them, and pay for their cell phone.  However, our kids need to hear us say things.  Don't assume they know.  Assuming is never good with a junior higher.  Say it and make it plain.  Here are a few things you may think or feel, but really need to say: "I love you-I am proud of you-That was a good choice-I really like listening to you-You are really good at that-You look handsome/beautiful."  I know we think it, let's let them know it by saying it.